Archive for November 2012

I've waited this moment to happen, but when it did, I didn't do anything. Honestly, I don't know what to do.


I want to taste the life you're having. I want to know how it feels to be you. Surrounded by people who -always love you. Always be the lucky one. Always be the number one. No one hates you. Everyone cares about you. Perfect life. I'd be so damn happy if I were you.

Okay, fangirl-ing session.
I still can't accept the fact that Elena's not with Stefan anymore. She's totally changed. I ship them so hard, but now..

Haaaaaaa. He loves Elena so bad. But why doesn't Elena fight for him. She's not even trying. If I were her, I'd fight for him, no matter what, I'll stay with him. 04x01, she promised him that she'd be forever with him. She keeps feeding him with sweet promises. It's not Damon's fault. It's Elena's. She's just being such a bitch. She dumped Stefan. At the end of sixth episode, Stefan looked so painful. He didn't deserve this pain. I want them to get back together, but Elena should realize how bad she was when Stefan wasn't around. I wish them to get back together in the very-very-very soon. Well, the spoilers said that they're getting back together in eps 10. Like what? I've to wait 4 weeks again to see them together again. I mean like, I don't wanna see Elena and Damon together, please. And the spoilers said that Caroline tell Stefan how to fight for Elena. Bitch, please. The only one who have to fight is Elena, not Stefan. He didn't do anything wrong. But Elena did. Ugh, I keep hating Elena. Sorry. But yes, I don't like her at this time. She's been more selfish and insensitive. I miss the human Elena. I admit it that Elena's better be vampire than human, but she's such a bitch as a vampire. Arggghhhhhh!! Okay, I'm just too obsessed. I'm done, but still, fuck this scene. :)


Everything got harder and harder day by day. People, school, this world and my self. The fact that he loves her more than he loves me is totally suck. I keep thinking that thing all the time. I should be something and she should be nothing. But the damn fact is the opposite. Time was changing him, or he was changing him self. I shouldn't have to think about all of this, but I am. I keep thinking what the hell is wrong with his damn mind. I want to talk about all of this shits but I just can't. Tell me what I am supposed to do.

And you know what's another damn fact?
This hottie is a newlywed. He's a surely taken man. Torrey DeVitto's husband. Husband. HUSBAND. Daaamn.

Welcome, November. Sooo many problems in October, but one of them is still bothering me until now. I told my self that I don't have to be so childish. I am just too disappointed with this problem. Everyone else might not think that this is a problem, but I think this is a problem. The reason was not about the thing, it was what I am for him. Am I nothing? Just so you know, this is not about my love story. It's about my life that ruined by a bitchy-girl. She should get a life and stop ruining mine. She should look at her self, she does NOT deserve all of this. I'm still wondering what I am for him. He loves me, they said. He cares about me, they said. But the reality shows the opposite. Why did he doing all of this shits. Am I not good enough? I'm not perfect, but I was trying to be perfect, and I still am. Why couldn't he notice that? Last night, I dreamed about me and him. In my dream, I cried and he saw me crying. He took the thing he gave to her. It was totally an amazing dream. If that dream comes true to the reality, I would be so happy. But I know that that dream will always be dream. Because he never cared about me. I know sometimes he cared about me, but not this time. I feel so childish. I hate it when cry was the only way I can do to make my self feel better. Tears are made to make people feel better. I should stop this.

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A 15th years old Indonesian girl.