Welcome, November. Sooo many problems in October, but one of them is still bothering me until now. I told my self that I don't have to be so childish. I am just too disappointed with this problem. Everyone else might not think that this is a problem, but I think this is a problem. The reason was not about the thing, it was what I am for him. Am I nothing? Just so you know, this is not about my love story. It's about my life that ruined by a bitchy-girl. She should get a life and stop ruining mine. She should look at her self, she does NOT deserve all of this. I'm still wondering what I am for him. He loves me, they said. He cares about me, they said. But the reality shows the opposite. Why did he doing all of this shits. Am I not good enough? I'm not perfect, but I was trying to be perfect, and I still am. Why couldn't he notice that? Last night, I dreamed about me and him. In my dream, I cried and he saw me crying. He took the thing he gave to her. It was totally an amazing dream. If that dream comes true to the reality, I would be so happy. But I know that that dream will always be dream. Because he never cared about me. I know sometimes he cared about me, but not this time. I feel so childish. I hate it when cry was the only way I can do to make my self feel better. Tears are made to make people feel better. I should stop this.